My pregnancy confession: I hated it!

Hate is a strong word. I don’t tend to hate many things, but I hated pregnancy. Not all the time, but most of it. This made me feel terrible while I was pregnant. I’d always been led to believe that women love pregnancy, so when I found it horrible I thought there was something wrong with me. I had an ‘easy pregnancy’, with no complications. We were both healthy. What’s to hate then you might ask.

Expectation vs reality

Pregnancy glow

There was no glowing

I think one of the main problems was my expectations. I really thought I’d love it. People have always said to me “ooh I loved pregnancy” and “It’s such a special time”. People only really talk about the positives of pregnancy and in a generally romanticised way. I was expecting to feel a bit sick (in the mornings!) at first, then to feel fine with the only side effect being the pregnancy ‘glow’ that everyone talks about. Ha ha ha.

I hated how I felt for the first 15 weeks. I had quite bad nausea, but I felt like I shouldn’t complain. After all, I wasn’t actually sick. Some people have hyperemesis gravidarum and get hospitalised. I just felt like I wanted to be sick. I also hated having no energy. Usually I’d walk everywhere and go to the gym several times a week. I felt like curling up on the sofa after work was all I could manage.

I did have a good few weeks after the nausea stopped, but by about 21 weeks I started getting ligament pain. I’d basically stopped going to the gym by then so walking was my only exercise. Then that became painful. We went on holiday to the Yorkshire Dales. Usually we’d do a lot of long walks. I did a 5-mile walk one day and I could have cried the whole way. I didn’t want to slow down, but I needed to. Then a bit later the general pelvis pain started. Looking back, I should have made more of a fuss. I mentioned it to the midwife, but as a bit of an aside at the end of the appointment. After a few weeks complaining I was given a support band which helped a little.

The last real problem I had was heartburn, which was something I’d never experienced before. It was unrelenting. I kept reading about ways to prevent it online. Everything I read said don’t eat spicy or fatty foods. I had heartburn after eating a cereal bar! A bloody cereal bar! I couldn’t enjoy any food and I was getting through Gaviscon at an alarming rate. The day after Jacob was born I suddenly realised I didn’t have heartburn anymore and I’ve never felt such joy.

Honesty around pregnancy

The evening of Jacob’s birth, one of my good friends asked me what was worse, pregnancy or childbirth? I immediately replied pregnancy, even though I’d just had an 18 hour labour (according to the hospital—don’t get me started on how they count labour hours!).

Don’t get me wrong, I was so happy to be pregnant. I’m not ungrateful and I understand that some people have a terrible time getting pregnant and would give anything to feel like I did. Ultimately, it was all worth it. I ended up with my beautiful little boy. But I’m not looking forward to doing it all again anytime soon.

I do wish people had been honest with me so that I knew what to expect. When I confided to a few friends who’ve had babies that I wasn’t really enjoying pregnancy they overwhelmingly said “Yeah it’s awful isn’t it”. Why does no one tell you this in advance?

I’ve decided not to sugar coat it when people ask me about pregnancy. I’m going to tell them it’s OK if they feel rubbish and hate every minute. They aren’t going to be a terrible mother just because they feel like that. If someone had said that to me from the start, I’d have felt a lot better about it all.

 

How did you find pregnancy? Were you one of the mythical glowing pregnant women?

 

Mummuddlingthrough
The Pramshed
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19 Comments

  1. January 26, 2017 / 9:05 am

    I was definitely not a mythical glower. I was a house. A big, fat, swollen, indigestiony, incontinent and sweaty house. I was lucky for the beginning as didn’t have morning sickness, but towards to end I would have paid someone to give me an epidural after about 23 weeks. Horrid. I don’t think you need to justify hating pregnancy though. Yes, some people struggle to get pregnant and would tell you to be grateful, but if you hate it, you hate it. #coolmumclub

    • Kelly
      January 26, 2017 / 9:38 am

      It’s horrible isn’t it! I got lucky and didn’t have swelling. There’s always next time for that joy I suppose! Thanks for reading

  2. January 26, 2017 / 9:18 am

    I despised pregnancy… Obviously I loved my little girl and feeling her kick, and I loved going for scans etc. But the actual pregnancy was hell. I spent about half of it signed off with sickness and pain and then I started my maternity early as I just couldn’t cope. There definitely needs to be more honesty around pregnancy and what it’s really like and less of this glowing nonsense! #coolmumclub

    • Kelly
      January 26, 2017 / 12:01 pm

      You poor thing. I felt sick but was nowhere near bad enough to be signed off. I started mat leave 4 weeks early and it wasn’t early enough! Thanks for reading

  3. January 26, 2017 / 12:17 pm

    Oh no! I know a lot of people really hate being pregnant. Weirdly I really enjoyed it – but I paid massively thereafter. Swing and roundabouts like with everything in parenthood! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub xoxo

  4. January 26, 2017 / 9:50 pm

    I really didn’t like being pregnant at all. I felt like a machine and not me anymore. Soon as I held my babies though I was lucky enough to have no post-natel depression and instantly fell in love.
    Great post! Thanks for linking up!
    #coolmumclub

  5. January 28, 2017 / 8:33 am

    Sounds like you had a rough ride. I hated the first 12 weeks for the sickness but did enjoy the rest, ligament pain sounds nasty. Funny how we forget and still do it again! #fortheloveofblog

  6. January 28, 2017 / 9:15 am

    I did not like the beginning when I was nauseous, even though I never threw up. I did love it when my babies started to move around and I could feel them swimming and kicking inside of me–I always found that neat with each pregnancy. And, actually, I kinda started to like being pregnant more and more the more babies I had.

    • Kelly
      January 28, 2017 / 9:49 am

      The movement was pretty cool actually! Thanks for reading.

  7. Gary
    January 28, 2017 / 9:32 am

    My wife hated it too, most of the time. Our daughter was 5 weeks early as my wife’s placenta ruptured so the second pregnancy was at times even less enjoyable as we were constantly worried it would happen again. It duly did and our boy arrived early too for the same reason. A day earlier this time! #fortheloveofblog

    • Kelly
      January 28, 2017 / 9:47 am

      Oh wow. That’s terrifying! The second pregnancy must have been so scary.

  8. January 29, 2017 / 12:50 am

    I am currently pregnant with my second child, and ive hated it the whole time. the first time around, it was a joy, actually really pleasant, this time…nope! There are times when i love feeling the kicks ect…. but other then that, its been hard. i know there are people out there who have had it harder then me, but its still hard none the less. Its refreshing to see posts about people being honest about how they feel during pregnancy! I have not had my glow, with 2 months left to go, i don’t think its coming anytime soon. Being now im on insulin for my uncontrollable gestational diabetes is making life even harder. I think this will be our last, i don’t think i could go through this again 🙁 i loved reading your story. Honest and real. Thank you!

    • Kelly
      January 29, 2017 / 6:49 am

      Thanks for reading and your lovely comment. Sorry you are having a tough time. I hope the last couple of months go quickly!

  9. January 29, 2017 / 10:09 am

    I hated being pregnant! My glow was just acne and greasy skin and hair, it’s was painful and miserable. Never again! #blogstravaganza

  10. January 30, 2017 / 9:02 pm

    I love that you can be honest about your pregnancy, it’s definitely not always sunshine and roses! I had HG and was hospitalised with my first and I managed it better with my second to keep me at home. I love my girls and I realise how lucky I am, but you know what? I HATE being pregnant and that’s ok! 🙂 Thanks so much for linking up to #Blogstravaganza, hope to see you again next week xx

  11. February 2, 2017 / 4:37 pm

    Oh lovely I completely understand because I hated it too, it sounds terrible but I hated every single second. I desperately tried to embrace it with my third especially as I knew it would be my last but I couldn’t. I was so I’ll and tired and grumpy.

    I feel blessed that I have had three healthy babies but for me pregnancy unfortunately it not for me! #fortheloveofblog

  12. February 2, 2017 / 6:55 pm

    Your pregnancy sounds exactly like my first. In fact, when I was in labour I was vomiting blood because my heartburn had been so bad! Like you, the second I realised it had gone was the biggest relief ever!! Thanks for popping by the #bigpinklink

    • Kelly
      February 3, 2017 / 1:20 pm

      Vomiting blood! Oh wow. That’s so awful!

  13. February 3, 2017 / 5:02 pm

    I totally get this post! I put on 4 stone, was tired, teary, had ligament pain, heartburn and also felt mis-sold on the ‘glow’. I also felt bad because whilst everyone was like aww you can feel your baby moving I felt sick and felt it akin to having a snake in my abdomen…the little mischief also bent my ribs. Of course I adore my son but I have yet to brave another in 5 years!#fortheloveofBLOG xx

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